Monday, December 5, 2011

Just because...

I LOVE these two!!!

Friday, November 25, 2011

My ways are not your ways

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts…            Isaiah 55:8-9

Tonya, my sister's friend, shared this verse in an email she wrote updating her supporters about her return from Africa a month premature.  My sister became very ill and was in need of medical attention that she couldn't receive in Africa.  As a result, Tonya traveled home with Lindsay.  Tonya longed to continue serving in Africa, but she also deeply desired healing for her dear friend.  She told me that she has really had to let go and allow the Lord to change plans because HIS ways are higher.

Lindsay went to the hospital immediately after landing in Arizona.  She spent 4 days in the ICU and another 3 in the hospital.  She couldn't speak, could barely smile but she was able to show her fear and frustration in the tears she shed.  Day by day she improved.  Her last day in the ICU a group of my friends from church organized a prayer time for Linsday; most of them have never met her. (We attend Roosevelt Community Church in downtown Phoenix and it is awesome).  During the time they were praying my siblings and I were able to go visit Lindsay in the ICU.  As soon as she saw us coming her face lit up; she looked like she was going to jump out of bed.  She was able to talk and laugh with us.  I KNOW Lindsay was able to speak and express herself because people were interceding on her behalf.  I truly believe in intercessory prayer and I think this definition shows what was happening for Lindsay.  Intercession is "holy, believing, persevering prayer whereby someone pleads with God on behalf of another or others who desperately need God's intervention."  God intervened then and continues to do so daily!!

This Thanksgiving season I am thankful for my family, Tonya (who is part of our family), friends who interceded on Lindsay's behalf, the doctors/nurses at the hospital and most of all that God's ways are higher than our ways.  I hope and pray you see God move in the ways that I have in the past 10 days!

Thursday, October 13, 2011


"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."  Philippians 12:2

This seems to be my theme verse right now.  I am certainly not in want when it comes to needs; I have plenty, more than enough!!  The Lord has proven Himself faithful and provided abundantly!!

I will be going back to work, at a new job on Monday.  I am excited for the opportunity to work for a well established company and beyond thrilled that the Lord provided, but I want to be home with Esther.  Being home is not a need but a want or better yet, a desire.  Esther was a surprise, a great gift and joy but a surprise nonetheless.  With surprises comes a change in plans.  Our plan, when we felt ready for kids, was for me to be a stay-at-home mom.  I would like to emphasize that it was OUR plan; it wasn't something the Lord had promised to us, we weren't entitled to it, it was just our want.  I deeply desire to be home with Esther and Josh desires that for me, but it's not part of God's plan right now.

Once we realized that staying home wasn't an option I began the job search (I resigned from my Job in July because we thought I would stay at home).  The Lord provided a job within a week of searching.  He also provided a fabulous daycare that had one opening for an infant, isn't too pricey and has amazing security; it's located at Josh's office so he will be close by should Esther need one of us.

You see, I am in want, not in need.  God is faithful and He will help me/we be content in any and every situation.

I LOVE this girl!!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Friday, September 30, 2011

Meeting the Great Grandparents

2 weeks ago we met up with Josh's side of the family to introduce the new babies to their Great Grandparents.  Esther Wynn is named after Great Grandma Winn and Zachary Robert is named after Great Grandpa Bob.  It was such a sweet time visiting with them.

Esther and Nana

4 Generations.  Grandpa Bob is almost 98yrs old.

Zachary, Nana and Grandpa Bob

Alli and the girls

The Jared Utterback Family

My sweet nephew Zachary

5 weeks apart

Uncle Josh loving on Zachary

Monday, September 12, 2011

2 Months

I really can't believe Esther is already 2 months old.  She had her 2 month check up today and the Dr was pleased with her progress.  For a baby that was having a hard time gaining weight she is doing well weighing in at 10lbs 10oz.  It was hard to watch her get her shots and hear her cry in pain!  I wanted to cry with her and make the pain go away.  :(

Esther is such an easy baby.  She is only fussy when she's hungry or ready to go to bed for the night.  She recently started smiling and cooing all the time.  I just love that gummy smile.  Here are some pictures from the past few weeks.

 Learning to sit in the Bumbo
Cuddling after bath time
Hanging out in the pool with daddy
I think she's a water baby
Daddy got peed on...Hahahaha

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Wednesday, August 31, 2011


Last weekend we had the opportunity to escape the heat by heading to Payson.  We spent the weekend hanging out in the pool, fly-fishing and lounging around.  Esther didn't get in the pool, but she looked oh so cute in her little hat.
 Esther soaking up the sun (while in the shade and covered with a cool towel) :)

Esther doesn't know it yet, but she will love fly-fishing!

Even Macy had a good time fly-fishing

Esther has started batting at what's in front of her.  It's hard to catch on video, but she is doing it! :)

Thursday, August 11, 2011

1 Month Old

I can't believe Esther is already a month old.  She is such a sweet little peanut!!  As of Monday she was back to her birth weight, so now I am working on getting some rolls on her. :)  She is a fabulous eater and sleeper, pretty sure she got the sleeping gene from Josh!!  She is a loud eater and sleeper; she grunts and squeaks. When she is awake she is really alert and so content just looking around or staring at your face.   She has amazing head control, born that way, and loves to stretch.  She looks SO much like Josh!!  We are loving every minute of everyday!!!

going home from the hospital
2 weeks old and about to get a bath

Monday, July 25, 2011

The Arrival of Esther Wynn

Esther Wynn arrived on July 11, 2011 at 11:33pm weighing 7lbs 4oz and measuring 21in long.  She is perfect!!!

Josh and I arrived at the hospital at 7:30am for my induction.  Esther decided she needed a little help leaving my body. :)  The nurse started my pitocin by 8:30 and I was dilated 1cm; by 11am the Dr broke my water and I was 3cm. The amount of pitocin I received was increased every half hour, but instead of the contractions just getting more intense they got closer together thus only giving me about 30-45 seconds to rest in between very strong contractions, so by 1pm I was ready for my epidural.  The anesthesiologist was in for a c-section so I had to wait.  At 2pm I received my epidural and I was 5cm and 80% effaced.  The rest of the afternoon was a waiting game.  They struggled to keep my contractions spread apart and intense enough to help me progress.  My Dr. stopped by in the evening to let me know she wasn't going to be able to deliver me because she wasn't on call.  I was disappointed, but I understood that it's how it goes with deliveries.  She returned an hour or so later to let me know she had changed her on call night so she could be there for me.  ( I should mention my OB was 38 weeks pregnant and still working full time).  I couldn't believe she went out of her way to do that for me.  I have been so blessed with such a wonderful OB.  Around 9-9:30pm I was 7cm dilated.  At 10:15 I started feeling a ton of pressure and the urge to push.  We booted our family out of the delivery room and called the nurse in.  Sure enough, I was complete and ready to start pushing.  Josh was a wonderful coach!!  He helped me stay focused and on track with my breathing.  On my 2nd to last push Esther's head came out but the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck two times.  The Dr cut the cord, but it was still wrapped so she then had to pull it over her head, giving Esther a bruised nose and mouth.  I pushed one last time and Esther was out.  The Dr handed her over to the nurses right away instead of letting me hold her.  She was whimpering and finally let out a loud cry after what felt like forever.  Her cry was such a sweet sound to my ears.  Josh was able to touch her and take pictures.  They let me look at her, but took her to the nursery to make sure she was breathing ok.  Josh came back to my room with Esther about 30 minutes later after she checked out ok.  I cried when the nurse put her in my arms.  Josh was so patient and allowed me to hold her for quite sometime before he got his turn.  She is beautiful and we are so in love!!  We are praising God for such an undeserved gift!!!

These two pictures are so special to me

41 weeks pregnant: Esther's last picture in my belly
Our first family photo

Thursday, June 16, 2011

37 weeks and the Nursery

The nursery is finished and we are ready for this little one whenever she decides to come.  Enjoy the pictures.

37 weeks

The finished mobile.  I am very please with how it turned out.

Monday, June 13, 2011


It's crazy how quickly time flies.  I can't believe that Josh and I have been married for 2 years.  We enjoyed a nice dinner at the Melting Pot and relaxing evening at home.  It was fun to think back about how relationship has developed.  It was 5 years ago that Josh re-established our friendship by emailing me after finding out I would be moving back to Phoenix.  It was 4 years ago that we went on our first date fly-fishing up north. It was 3 years ago that he told me he loved me and 2 years ago we were married.  It has been a great journey and I am excited to see what the Lord has in store for the future.
I LOVE you Josh and I am SO blessed to be your wife!!!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Roller Coaster Ride

Three weeks ago Thursday I had a follow-up ultrasound to see if my placenta previa (placenta covering the cervix) had corrected itself with the growth of my uterus.  The ultrasound tech initially thought my previa was gone, but later corrected herself saying that it looked like I still had a complete previa.  The tech was also concerned because the baby was measuring small.  I affirmed the tech that the baby has measured small all along and that the midwife didn't have any concerns regarding her size.

The following Monday my midwife called to let me know that the ultrasound revealed a complete previa.  This is concerning because it means the baby would have to be delivered via c-section at 37 weeks due to the risk of hemorrhage should I start to dilate; keep in mind that at this point I was 33 weeks along meaning the baby would be coming in 4 weeks as opposed to 7.  The midwife didn't mention being concerned about the baby's size which surprised me.  She said she would be referring me to an OB within the same practice since a midwife can't perform a c-section.  At this point I was really concerned; the baby was measuring small and they wanted to deliver her early.  There were so many thoughts going through my mind and I didn't know if I trusted the practice enough to continue receiving care from them.  I had been asking for a month to have a follow-up ultrasound to check the location of my placenta, but continued to be put off.  Josh and I decided it was time to look for a new OB and deliver at a hospital that has a level III nicu should the baby have issues from being delivered early.

I started the hunt for a new OB.  It was quite the challenge to find a respected practice that would take me this far along in my pregnancy.  Fortunately for us our top choice was willing.  We scheduled an appointment and waited, anxiously, to find out what the Dr. wanted to due regarding the previa and size of the baby.  Our appointment was almost 2 weeks after our ultrasound and I was a mess for most of the two weeks.

The day of our appointment finally arrived.  Dr Castro was wonderful!!  She answered all our questions and knew what  her game plan was before she even saw me.  She referred me to have a complete ultrasound with a perinatologist the following day.  She said she didn't trust the imaging center/radiologist we used for the last ultrasound so she wanted this ultrasound to check the previa and also to make sure that the baby doesn't have growth restriction (something that had never been mentioned to us as a possible cause of her small size).  She also had me do the glucose test (my midwife said it wasn't necessary) and did a bunch of blood work.  Josh and I left the appointment feeling really good about the Dr and the care we would be receiving, but I was still really emotional.  I was so concerned about the size of the baby and the thought that she may not be receiving the nutrients she needed causing her growth to be restricted as a result.  Josh did a great job of reminding me that we can't worry about what is out of our control, but instead need to rest in the Lord.  Our prayer was for the Lord's will.  He created this little one according to His plan, not ours, so it's fitting that He has a plan for her life, size, and delivery.  I desperately wanted to pray that she would grow and my placenta would move, but ultimately I had to pray for His will because it is PERFECT!!!

Our ultrasound was the following day.  My mom came with me, it was too short of notice for Josh to be able to get off work.  I cried off and on the hours leading up to the ultrasound and kept praying.

The results were GREAT!!!!!  I do NOT have placenta previa and the baby isn't growth restricted.  They were able to see that all the blood flow in the placenta and umbilical cord were working as they should.  We may just have a small baby; not expected considering both Josh and I were over 8lbs when we were born. We are overjoyed at the results!!  The ultrasound was 3D and amazing.  We saw her open her mouth a few times and move her hands all over.  I think she has Josh's lips and possibly his nose.  I am really excited to meet this little peanut and see how/when the Lord brings her into the world.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

32 Weeks

Looks like I missed a few weeks of the belly shots, but you still get the picture...she is growing.  I can't believe we will be meeting her in just a few weeks.  The third trimester has been going smoothly.  I am definitely a little more sluggish, sound like a panting dog when I breathe and have joint pain in my hands due to swelling. 

Our nursery is almost complete; Josh did a wonderful Job putting together the crib and moving the furniture around.  My mom asked me the other day about a mobile for the baby's crib; I told her I wasn't planning on having one because I think most of them are ugly.  I didn't realize how important it is for the baby to have something to look at in the crib; probably because she won't be in there much since I am pretty sure I won't be able to put her down. :)  Anyways, I found one on etsy that I liked, but I wasn't willing to pay $80 for it.  I decided I was going to make it.  I am almost done and will post pictures when it is complete.  I only spent $5 because I had most of the supplies.  It is super cute.

Yesterday Josh and I were lounging on the couch when the baby did some sort of judo chop to my innards causing me to have a full body spasm.  It was painful and hilarious all at the same time.  She has been moving so much and I love feeling her everytime!!!!

32 weeks.
I think I look bigger than this in real life

Monday, April 11, 2011

Getting Even Bigger

The growing girl is kicking and tumbling all the time.

26.5 weeks

28 weeks

Friday, March 25, 2011

Baby Registry

I have started registering for Baby items and find the task to be quite overwhelming.  The stores give you a list of items you "need" that are obviously really not needed and then you are presented with SO many options/brands for the "needed" items.  Thanks to my father-in-law I have access to Consumer Reports and have made that my go to when researching items.  It's been reassuring to know that even though I am overwhelmed by all the options, I am able to choose items that have received really high safety ratings.

I have been searching high and low for a gender neutral bed set for the baby. (I don't even know how many stores and websites I have visited in my quest).  I was hoping for a  tan or cream bumper/bedskirt and then a polka dot crib sheet (I love me some polka dots).  My mom started looking for me last night and she found the Flower Burst bedding from the Land of Nod.  It's more pricy than I was hoping and much more colorful, but I really like it.  Isn't it cute; and it has polka dots to boots!!!!  I am going to continue looking, but at least I have a go to if I can't find my boring/neutral bedding. :)

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Getting Bigger

Baby Girl is growing and so am I.  She has been moving all over the place and the movements have been getting stronger and stronger.  Josh was able to feel her move for the first time 2 weeks ago.  He said it felt like a tap, but he could tell she was moving.  This past week her movements were even stronger making it easier for Josh to feel and see her move.  We love her so much already!!!!  Keep growing little one!!!

22 weeks

23 weeks
I forgot to take a picture for week 24

25 weeks

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

21 Weeks

Here is the first official picture of the baby bump.  I hope you enjoy watching Baby Girl Utterback grow. :)

I love him!!!

Beautiful Weather

We have had some amazing weather the past few weeks so Josh and I have been taking every opportunity we can to be outside.  We went for a hike on the mountain preserve near Dreamy Draw park and actually remembered to bring our camera.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

It's a ....


On Tuesday Josh and I went to our ultra sound appointment with much anticipation to see that our baby was growing appropriately and to find out if we were having a boy or a girl.  We were filled with so much joy upon seeing her little body moving all over the place.  It brought tears to my eyes to hear the tech say it was a girl.  Josh and I didn't have a preference on gender, we just hoped for a healthy baby.  Knowing she is healthy brings about so much peace.  We can't wait to meet her in July!!

I took the day off of work so we could celebrate the news.  Josh and I had lunch at Peter Piper Pizza (we really like pizza) and enjoyed a few rounds of Pop-A-Shot and Skee Ball.  We decided we wanted to do something "girlie" and thought shopping for a girl outfit was appropriate.  After shopping we rested and then went for a nice hike with Macy along the preserve near our home.  It was such a wonderful day and I am looking forward to this new season of life with Josh and Baby Girl Utterback!!

 Even Macy is excited about the baby.

 Grandma and Grandpa finding out it's a GIRL. :)