Sunday, April 15, 2012
Friendships are challenging and oh so rewarding! With each new season of life friendships are constantly changing. When entering a marriage it seems as though couples shift to spending time with other couples, often leaving single friends by the wayside. The same happens when you embark upon parenthood; you choose to surround yourself with other parents, people who can commiserate with you over the sleepless nights, loads of laundry and subpar meals for your family. In entering parenthood I thought being with other mom friends would be simple; we would have play groups and talk over a cup of coffee while our children played. It doesn't seem to have worked out that way. When I was in college my mom said something to me that has really stuck with me. At the time I had a friendship that was really challenging, suck you of all your energy challenging. I remember being emotionally spent and not knowing what to do. In talking with my mom about the situation, she told me "You need to CHOOSE what kind of friend you are going to be and stick with it regardless of what you get in return. You never know when the tables will turn and you will need that friend." Right now I am wrestling with my mom's words. I have a friendship that means the world to me, one in which desiring to invest time is easy, but I have found the reality of what I am able to give is a disappointment to what my heart desires to give. Life has gotten in the way of me being able to be the friend that I CHOSE to be. Play dates and coffee haven't fit into all that life demands. I have hurt my friend because I have failed to be the friend she is needing. It hurts because my heart is there; it wants to pour into her, but family, work, being a wife and all the other commitments of life aren't permitting me to. It hurts to come to the realization that desires and expectations aren't aligning with reality. It hurts because she is hurt and I am to blame.